Trump staffers find themselves ostracized in DC and completely unable to get laid.

By |2018-06-24T16:10:30+00:00June 24th, 2018|Categories: Front Page, News|Tags: , , , , |5 Comments

Courtesy of GQ Magazine:

It’s not so surprising that Trump’s young aides keep to themselves given the politics of the city they’ve colonized. Only 4 percent of the District’s vote went to Trump in 2016; his next-worst showing was Hawaii, where he got nearly 30 percent of the vote. Trump’s inauguration drew a lackluster crowd, and his real welcome to the city came the next day, when hundreds of thousands of protesters stormed the Mall for the Women’s March. A constant stream of anti-Trump demonstrations has followed. Signs declaring “Love trumps hate” and other visible markers of the “resistance” are everywhere. Staffers leaving the White House grounds semi-regularly catch passersby flipping them the bird.

“I have gotten yelled at a few times walking out of work,” lamented one White House staffer. “I want to get home, not get in a debate in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue.”

Sometimes, the easiest option is to hide their identities. While under normal circumstances, you could expect young White House officials to work their job titles into conversations at the earliest opportunity, the Trump crew has learned to use the types of dodges more commonly deployed by employees of the CIA. “I’ll just say I work for the federal government,” says a White House aide. After some conversations at bars on U Street and the Hill turned south when his Trump ties came up, one since-departed staffer has learned to reveal his White House past only as a last resort. “Even now, people have to ask five or six times before I say, ‘Yeah, I worked there,’” he says. When being vague doesn’t cut it, staffers can always straight-up lie, as one young administration official learned to do while working out of New York during the campaign. “I told people I was an auditor down on Wall Street, and people just stopped asking me questions after that,” he recalls.

When it comes to disclosing their affiliation with Trump, no ground is more fraught than courtship. “Trump supporters swipe left”—meaning “don’t even bother trying”—might be the single most common disclaimer on dating app profiles in Washington.

One beleaguered 31-year-old female administration official described at length her “very, very frequent” scraps with her matches on dating apps. “You do the small talk thing, and you have a very good conversation, and then they might say, ‘You didn’t vote for Trump, right?’” she says. “As soon as I say, ‘Of course I did,’ it just devolves into all-caps ‘HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A RACIST AND A BIGOT?’ And ‘You’re going to take away your own birth control.’” In one recent star-crossed exchange, the official told a match she worked for the federal government. When he pushed, she revealed she was in the administration. He asked her, “Do you rip babies from their mothers and then send them to Mexico?”

I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel bad for their misfortune or laugh out loud at their predicament. 

I have to admit I feel more comfortable with the second option. 

After all, I bet the Nazis had trouble finding dates as well, and I never lost any sleep over that. 

Besides if these new age versions of the Hitler Youth starting bumping uglies that might lead to procreation, and the last thing this country needs is an influx of infants whose parents were morally corrupt enough to work for fucking Donald Trump. 

Jesus, I got a cold chill just thinking about it. 

About the Author:

This blog is dedicated to finding the truth, exposing the lies, and holding our politicians and leaders accountable when they fall far short of the promises that they have made to both my fellow Alaskans and the American people.


  1. Beaglemom June 24, 2018 at 7:01 am

    My God, that photo looks just like a group photo of the extended Addams family. I can even here the theme music.

  2. Paul June 24, 2018 at 8:11 am

    Their fallback option is to have sex with each other, but I suppose even they turn each other off. Would you have sex with Stephen Miller or Kellyanne Conway? Even with their exceedingly low standards, the thought of having sex with another staffer must be revolting.

    • Ukelele50 June 24, 2018 at 10:59 am

      Corey Lewandowski is pretty disgusting too.

  3. Anonymous June 24, 2018 at 10:58 am

    So they could date each other, but since they haven’t, it must mean they can stand who they are.

  4. Anonymous July 3, 2018 at 12:23 am

    I don’t understand why they are so surprised. Well, they’re not, otherwise they wouldn’t see the need to lie. What gets me is they still don’t seem to understand why. They don’t understand how working for this administration and its policies leads to their vilification. Do they really swallow Trump’s swill? About how popular he is? Do they really believe Democrats are so evil, unpatriotic, dangerous, will destroy the country?

    They should just go fuck themselves. Or at least each other. So they don’t pollute the rest of the gene pool.

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