I said Anchorage had a lot of criminals. I did not say they were smart criminals.
Courtesy of ADN:
Anchorage police rapidly solved a bank robbery Tuesday after the suspect handed the teller a hold-up note with his name and birthdate on the back, according to a charging document filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Anchorage.
But Anchorage police didn’t even need that handy tip to arrest Michael Gale Nash after he left First National Bank Alaska on 36th Avenue in Midtown with $400 in a bag, the FBI says.
“It’s my understanding he was sitting outside the bank counting his money when police arrived,” said Staci Feger-Pellessier, a spokeswoman with the FBI in Alaska.
Police arrived on scene “a few minutes” after getting the call. The robber confessed to the crime, according to the criminal complaint, filed with U.S. Magistrate Judge Leslie Longenbaugh.
This story made me laugh out loud.
It also reminded me of my favorite story from the brief time I spent working at a Savings and Loan here in Anchorage. (Remember those?)
I was only in my early twenties when I worked there and I was hired as a courier, file clerk, and unofficial security officer.
That last designation was in response to the fact that we had a number of homeless people wander in off the streets (This was downtown), and it was my job to escort them out gently but firmly unless they had business with the bank.
I was also expected to walk from the Savings and Loan to a nearby bank to deposit large amounts of cash each day.
The working theory that was expressed to me was that nobody in their right mind would attempt to rob somebody of my size and demeanor in broad daylight. (And they proved to be right, it never happened.)
However, there was one robbery attempt right before I started working there.
Apparently, a gentleman, who also appeared to be down on his luck, handed a teller a note asking her to hand over the contents of her till.
She did so but also hit the silent alarm.
The man quickly exited, but rather than run away with the stolen cash he stood right next to the building and tried to hail a cab.
He was still standing right outside the Savings and Loan, waving his arms, TEN MINUTES LATER when the cops finally showed up to arrest him.
According to the employees who told me the story, the guy never even TRIED to run.
Anyhow, like I said, not the smartest crooks in the world up here.
Not even the ones in government.